Week 1

Soo... we’re officially over a week into my journey with antidepressants to help manage my anxiety and depression!

Now, let me clarify—I’m not the type to sit in a dark room and wallow. My depression is more about this nagging feeling of not being worthy of the life I’ve built. It’s odd because, on paper, everything is great. I have an amazing wife who supports me, three brilliant kids who keep me on my toes, a well-paid job that challenges me, and my health is solid overall—well, apart from my dodgy knee (but I’ll get to that story in a bit!).

The first few days on the tablets were, honestly, rougher than I expected. My mind felt clouded, like a thick fog had settled over my thoughts. Focusing on even the simplest tasks became a real struggle. For instance, when a friend asked me to help load sofas into his truck, I just froze. I stood there, blank, not really knowing what to do next. That’s so unlike me! Normally, I’m great at thinking on the fly, visualising the plan, and making it happen. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy my job so much—it thrives on that kind of quick thinking.

Once the fog started to lift, insomnia decided to make an appearance. Fun, right? On the bright side, it made me an absolute beast at Call of Duty: Black Ops 6! But in all seriousness, the lack of sleep really sapped my motivation, particularly when it came to the gym. I’ve been laser-focused lately on building upper-body strength, especially while trying to go easy on my leg. Missing nearly two weeks of training felt like such a setback—it’s just not me. Normally, I’m in the gym five or six days a week, rain or shine.

Fast forward to today, and I’m happy to say things are looking up. As I write this, I’m listening to Sleep Token (seriously, check them out—they’ve been my musical obsession this week). I feel more like myself—motivated, less irritable, and not as harsh on myself. Sure, the changes are medicated, but they’re still changes. The anger is easing, and the negativity I’ve been carrying around like extra baggage is starting to lift.

So, here’s my little takeaway for this week’s check-in:

Everyone has those moments—days, weeks, or even longer—where things feel off. And that’s okay. Don’t give up on yourself. You’re stronger and more resilient than you realise, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

As always, take care of yourself, and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

Until next week,
Sean

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